just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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