i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Quick, to the slutcave!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
