i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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