Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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