She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
