I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Buhtt sex?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
