You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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