I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
