I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
