so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
