i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
