I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
