Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
