you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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