have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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