My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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