She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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