I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
foreskin is a definite game changer
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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