i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
