I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
