I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
