You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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