i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
