I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
