But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize