I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
