her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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