i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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