your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
