This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
