Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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