Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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