We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
