i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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