Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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