Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
