did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
