Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
