I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just sent this text using only my big toe
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
