so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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