'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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