I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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