I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
