I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
