what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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