Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
