take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
