I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
