i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
