Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
