you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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