she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
