There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
