I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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