I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
